The Woodruff Rd Cluster**** Is Your Fault

March 27, 2017

There's a sign that hangs from almost every stop light wire on Woodruff Road in Greenville. It's four words..."DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION". And I checked, they're not written in French. It is in fact English. Do you understand what that means? It means DO NOT BLOCK THE F*ING INTERSECTION.

If you've lived in Greenville for more than about 15 years you remember when Woodruff Road ran through pastures. Now, you can't projectile vomit without hitting ANOTHER store, shop, or restaurant. It's insane. Which causes a literal f*** ton of traffic. More traffic than the lights can handle. But one problem is everyone feels compelled to get out into the intersection because god forbid you wait behind the line...then you're stuck with your preverbal pecker in your hand when the light changes. I've seen it, that deer in the headlights "IT'S NOT MY FAULT...THEY'RE NOT GOING" look on a bewildered driver. Guess what, it is your fault. Use your brain, look ahead, decide if traffic that's through the light is going to move. If you don't think so hang back. Wait. It might move and you can go on through while the light is still green. But if not you won't be sitting out in the middle of an intersection like a water buffalo who can't get unstuck from a rice paddy, preventing traffic from the other direction from going. USE YOUR HEADS.